Are You Emotionally Mature?

20 Signs You’re Emotionally Mature
  1. You realize that most of the bad behavior of people either comes down to fear or anxiety rather than, what is easier to presume, nastiness or idiocy.
  2. You learn that what's in your head can not be automatically understood by others. You learn that eventually, you are going to have to articulate your intentions, and, feelings with the use of words.
  3. You understand that you sometimes get things wrong and take the steps to apologize.
  4. You learn to be confident. Not by thinking you are great, but by understanding other people are as lost and scared as you are. We’re all making it up as we go along.
  5. You forgive your parents because you realize they didn’t bring you into the world to insult you.
  6. You don’t bring up a contentious issue with a loved one until everyone has had enough food, is well-rested, and no one is drunk. Additionally, you’re not in a hurry and nothing else is alarming you.
  7. You give up sulking. If someone hurts you, you don’t store up the hatred and the hurt for days, you remember that we’ll all be dead soon, you don’t expect others to know what’s wrong, you tell them straight and if they get it you forgive them, and if they don’t you forgive them differently.
  8. You seize to believe in perfection in pretty much every area. There are no perfect people, perfect jobs, or perfect lives, instead, you pivot towards the understanding of good enough.
  9. You learn about the virtues of being a little more pessimistic about how things will turn out. As a result, you emerge as a calmer, patient, and more forgiving person.
  10. You don’t isolate people’s character weaknesses but rather counterbalance them with their strengths. You truly realize that perfect people don’t exist.
  11. You fall in love a bit less easily. When you’re less mature you could develop a crush instantly. Now you are aware that people no matter how charming they may appear or how established they may seem on the outside, could be a pain up close and you develop loyalty to what you already have.
  12. You understand quite surprisingly, that you are a difficult person to live with and enter into friendships and relationships offering kindly warnings of how and when you might prove to be a challenge.
  13. You learn to forgive yourself for your errors and foolishness and learn to become a friend to yourself. Of course, you’re an idiot, a loveable idiot as we all are.
  14. You learn to make peace with your stubborn child-like parts that remain and stop trying to be a grown-up on every occasion, you accept that we all have our regressive moments and when your two-year-old self emerges you give them the attention they need.
  15. You don’t put a lot of hope into grand plans you expect will bring you much happiness for years. You start to celebrate the little things that go well and understand that satisfaction comes in increments of minutes. You are delighted if one day goes by without much bother, you take a greater interest in flowers and the stars in the sky. You develop a taste for small pleasures.
  16. What people in general think of you seize to become much of a concern. You understand the minds of others are muddled places and you are not so concerned about polishing your image in everyone else’s eyes and know what matters is that you and one or two others are okay with you being you. You give up on fame and start to rely on love.
  17. You get better at hearing feedback. Rather than assuming anyone who criticizes you is trying to humiliate you or is making a mistake, you accept that maybe it would be a good idea to take a few things on board. You start to see that you can hear criticism and survive it without having to put on your armor and deny that there was ever a problem.
  18. You don’t sit in your pity and instead get out and get new perspectives, you walk in nature or you might get a pet. You look up to the night sky and can appreciate the other galaxies out there.
  19. You understand that your past colors your reactions to events and learn to compensate for the distortions that can result. You accept your childhood predisposes you to exaggerate in certain areas and become suspicious of your first impulses around particular topics and learn to sometimes not go with your first feelings.
  20. When you start a friendship you realize that other people don’t principally want to know your good news so much as gain an insight as to what troubles and worries you so that they can in turn feel less lonely with the pains of their hearts. You become a better friend because you see what friendship is really about is a sharing of vulnerability.



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I write about complex relationships and life hacks.